Stan's Redemption
by Bobby South
Summary: Set during 'Irregrading Steve'. The story of the Smiths coping with Steve's and Roger's Death.


Rain clouds had passed away and the sun was out shining, making everything bright. But not for the Smiths. Francine was busy washing the dishes more gloomy than Eeyore looking for sticks after his house got knocked down for the millionth time. She saw her youthful daughter, Hayley, putting a bunch of flowers on a tree base that once had a tree and a tree-house on it that was destroyed. Despite being an environmentalist, it wasn't the destroyed tree that made her cry for the millionth time. For some time, Hayley had been crying more times than birds past her house. Her college had to suspended her until she was able to focus on her studies again, she couldn't go out with her boyfriend Jeff and she can't even talk to her parents. She has never ever been _that_ depressed in her life. Francine felt exactly the same.

"Hi," greeted a voice.

"Hi," Francine returned.

"How was your day?" the voice asked.

"Fine," she answered coldly.

"Washing the dishes?" was another question.

Francine grunted.

"Honey, it's been three weeks. Why don't we start planing Steve's funeral?"

That was it! Her son Steve, the only son she ever had and the only brother Hayley ever had, was dead. He with his best friend called Roger died in a thunderstorm at the tree-house, when it was destroyed. And now, three weeks later, the family was uncompleted without them. But why did Steve and Roger go there in the first place? And why did the family just sit in the kitchen, not doing anything, apart from letting this happen? Except Klaus, of course, as he couldn't do anything in a fish bowl.

Francine couldn't take it any more! She turned around, smashing a wet plate into pieces. "I WANTED TO GO GET HIM! I WANTED TO BRING HIM INSIDE! BUT YOU WOULDN'T LET ME! OUR ONLY SON'S DEAD ALL BECAUSE OF _YOU_!"

"You think_ I _don't know that?" Francine's husband, Stan Smith, _did _knew it was all _his_ fault. _He_ was the reason Steve and Roger left in the first place. After he helped Steve on a report of fossils, Steve lost respect for him because he got an F for the report. Roger helped Steve to mock his father, but the jig was up and Stan grounded Steve for disrespecting him. Then they said they were leaving for New York. But when they left, Stan wasn't worried about them and assumed they were in the tree-house. Francine was worried about them and wanted to bring them in. Even Hayley, who got along with Steve as much as the garbage-men arrive to collect the garbage, told her stupid father that they needed to come in. But no! Stan said death was too busy remembering Tony Curtis and like he'd listen to her anyway. He wanted to leave them out and let them come in when and only when they started to respect him. Not he'll get much respect now from Steve or Roger, or Francine or Hayley or even Klaus. He had brought three weeks of misery to the family and now they're not strong enough to even plan their own son's funeral. He failed the greatest mission any CIA man would want to accomplish: To see his own son complete school, complete college, get a good job and have a good long life.

Francine fell down, collapsing to the floor, flooding it with tears. Stan tried to hug her, but she tried to push him away.

"No! I can't make it, Stan!" cried Francine.

"Yes, you can," comforted Stan. "Oh, this is killing us. We need to get away from this place and our problems. We need to take a vacation far, far away."

"But we can't afford it," sniffed Francine.

"Well, there was Steve's college money we were saving."

"Well, I guess he won't be needing it."

"Let's just let it go and think that our little cowboy is in a better place," smiled Stan.

* * *

The next day, Stan was happily cooking the pancakes for the still-depressed girls. They were ready to go to Lake Tahoe, but they doubted that it would be the same without Steve.

"Now I know what you're thinking," said Stan, giving the pancakes to the girls, "but once we get there, we'll be happy bunnies."

"Why are we going to Lake Tahoe, Dad?" asked Hayley. "You know I can't swim."

"Yeah," joined in Francine. "And the doctor said, if I become to drunk again, I will have liver cancer again."

"All right! We'll take care of everything when we get there," interrupted Stan. "Now eat up."

The girls each took one bite of their pancakes. Then their faces fell on the pancakes, unconscious.

Stan was laughing at this joke he pulls off every year. He looked at the secret ingredient – CIA sleeping powder. Klaus was laughing too. Stan had let him on this secret joke.

The next thing Stan did was took the girls to the basement where he brought in two CIA goo chambers a few days ago. He stripped each girl to their underwear and put them each in a different chamber. Finally, as the last result, he programmed the vacation to Lake Tahoe.

"Finally! A vacation all to myself!" he cried happily. He danced around happily.

Five days later, Stan's mood was back to what it used to be. He was in tears and snots. He blew his nose and threw it. Unfortunately, it landed in Klaus's bowl. He angrily growled and ripped into pieces.

"That's it!" the German-speaking goldfish shouted. "I don't care how upset you are! Think about how upset _I_ am, BEING STUCK IN THIS BLOODY BOWL!"

"I just can't stand it," sobbed Stan. "Francine's right! Steve's dead all because of me!"

"How do you think I feel when I left my family in Germany?" Klaus put in. "My beautiful mother, my fat father, my traitor grandfather – Oh, look, you've put your family in the goo chambers. Let's go for a real one, just you and me."

"I don't know, Klaus. I don't feel like I deserve it," sighed Stan.

"Well, let's do it for my stake, if not yours. You could give me a change of scenery, as your first act of redemption."

Stan thought about it and smiled. "Okay, Klaus. You're on."

* * *

"At least I'm giving you more accurate ways of amends than Father Donovan will ever give you," boasted Klaus. But his boasting was true. A week ago, Stan visited Father Donovan and asked him how he could make amends and if he could give Steve a funeral. Of course, all Donovan said to Stan, "If you believe Heaven's the greatest place ever in the universe, you should be proud of sending your son up there. As for the funeral, I'm fully booked. Over-populating finally decreasing, that's what I say."

Squirrels and badgers, looking for nuts and rabbits to eat, cleared the way of Stan Smith and his goldfish, Klaus, taking a walk in the Langley Falls Forest.

"_Kuhl!_" cheered Klaus happily. "You know, seeing real things in the real world make you forget all of the delusions, mirages and all of the living-in-your-own-world crap."

"Yeah," moaned a depressed Stan.

"Come on, Stan!" shouted an annoyed Klaus. "We've been camping for three days and you're not enjoying it?"

"I just learned an important lesson. No matter how much I do to save America or any good deed I do, I will never forgive or forget myself."

"How do you think my family and friends felt after World War Two?" asked Klaus. Then his mood changed. "Oh, look! Take me further to the river!"

Stan was very puzzled, but he was so upset to argue so he went for Klaus's sake. They were at the edge. "Now take me out of my bowl and chuck me into the river," ordered Klaus. Stan sighed and did so.

Once underwater, Klaus saw some precious treasures – No, they weren't sunken Langley Falls race trophies or old sunken Langley Falls farthings. They were German – Klaus's blonde-hair nephew called Craig with a beautiful ginger-hair woman called Penny. They were scuba-diving. There was someone else with them – a priest. It was an underwater marriage! Craig gave Penny a ring and put it on her finger. The priest blessed them. They take the regulators off and kiss each other. Klaus was in tears, not bad tears but happy tears. Then he was scooped back up again.

Klaus found himself back in Stan's hands. "What the hell, Stan? I was seeing my only nephew getting married and underwater!"

"Well, I'm glad you found your family again," said Stan in a better mood. While Klaus was underwater, Stan had been looking at photo of his family on the lake. Every few days of each year, the family would go to the lake and they will go on a speedboat. Stan, in Caribbean clothes, would drive it, Francine and Hayley in bikinis would sun-bathe and look at the nature around them and Steve in swim shorts and goggles would water-ski behind them. But he smiled so much when he looked at it, it made him laugh. Because he didn't even take his family to the lakes of Langley Falls and he had made the CIA create the pictures to convince his family.

Yet this made him very happy and made him feel much better, thinking how wonderful it was. Then he was rudely disturbed by a scuba-diver, taking his gear off.

"Father Donovan?" Stan was amazed to see him.

"Oh, hello, Stan," greeted an annoyed Donovan. "Just clearing my head after a stressful ceremony at church. If you've come here to forget your son's death, this river must be heaven on earth."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were marrying a couple by scuba-diving," said Stan.

Donovan knew there was no point in lying. "Yeah, I did. But, at least, it was change to do in open water and not a building especially on a beautiful day like day. Now, I'm going to get the happy couple's party for a drink. I would say "you could come", but you're not invited." And Donovan laughed at this cruel joke.

Stan put Klaus back in his bowl and he sat down, depressed once again. Then something hit him. Stan picked it up. It was a little rock. He turned around. There was a little blonde hair girl in a pink dress, laughing at him. Stan chuckled at this. He got up and draw out his Glock gun and gave chase to her.

"What are you doing?" cried Klaus. "They were only joking. Come back here!"

Stan wasn't listening. He carried on walking. "No little girl is above the law. And now neither Francine nor Hayley will give me any crap out of their pretty mouths." He found this funny.

He went to the edge of a cliff and he saw the girl sliding down and falling into the mud and laughing gleefully.

"OH, HENRIETTA!" yelled an old woman's voice. She look ahead. There was an old nun. "I have searched the whole forest for four hours and what do I find? You in your best dress in the mud... three times this month!"

But Stan came to the rescue and pulled Henrietta out of the mud. Then he pointed his gun at her head. "Leave her alone or I'll blow her head off!" threatened Stan.

"Why would you do that?" asked the nun.

Stan pulled the trigger! But the girl was still standing. The only she got from the gun was... water. Stan laughed at this. "CIA joker squirter! Would I kill a little girl? Maybe a terrorist's daughter."

Later, Stan was delivered to the Langley Falls Orphanage. It was as big as the CIA Building and had unadopted children just as many employees.

The nun gave the key to Stan. "This Orphanage is yours. You're a CIA man. You can keep them in order. I'm done." And she left.

"But my wife has two kids and she never gave up!" shouted Stan.

"Two children is like two little foxes owning their own hole, while the rest of the foxes are left in the woods to starve."

Stan turned around and faced a ginger hair boy with a tough New York accent.

"And just who might you be?" asked Stan.

"John," answered the ginger-hair geek.

"Well, John," said Stan, playing along with his game, "if you're so smart for a ten-year-old, what do you and your friends want? A new video game? A movie rent? Pizza takeaways? Or maybe brand new parent?"

"Or a vacation!" called a German accent.

Everyone turned around and saw a goldfish in a bowl with a steering wheel for the wheels beneath it. "Take these kids on vacation," suggested the goldfish.

You'd expect these kids to scream and run out of the room, wouldn't you? But no! These kids found this talking goldfish awesome and they agreed with him.

"Yeah, take us on vacation!" they all cheered.

"Let's get packing!" one suggested.

And the kids did exactly that!

Stan angrily turned to Klaus. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"Because this is your chance to make amends for your son's death," answered an annoyed Klaus.

"This is how you make amends?" asked Stan.

"You wouldn't understand," carried on Klaus, "not that you lived in a country who tried to take over the world and now living in shame."

"But you and your nephew you just saw getting hitched didn't do any of that," protested Stan. Klaus glared at him. Stan sighed. "I'm sorry. I see now I can relate to your country. But how am I going to afford this?"

"Use Steve's college money to take these kids on vacation," insisted Klaus. "That will make God forgive you and help you forget your son's death."

Stan sighs and nods.

* * *

Stan thought of the best place for children to go and the best thing he could thought of was Burma! All of the cool and awesome war going on. And what's better is that he gave Klaus the responsibility to book the vacation and use Steve's college money to pay the tickets.

So they were in the air, producing a carbon footprint mark in the sky... not a big one though, for some reason. When the plane landed, Stan knew they weren't in Burma! They were in Florida!

"What are we doing here?" demanded Stan of Klaus, when the plane landed.

"Do you honestly think that sending these children to Burma, the roughest war zone since my country, to witness death is the best thing for them after _them_ losing their parents?" cheeked Klaus. "No wonder Bullock hasn't given you his position yet."

Stan sighed, knowing it was true, even though he didn't want to admit it.

Later, they were at the happiest place on Earth.

"The Statue of Liberty?" Any stupid idiot would know Stan said that.

"No! Disneyland!" exclaimed Klaus. And all of the children happily ran in the Magic Kingdom and their sadness and depression was all in their past. Even Stan began to forget his depression.

"Well, Stan, your penance is a success," said Klaus happily.

"What, Klaus? What penance?" Stan didn't care. He happily walked forward, leaving Klaus on a park bench.

"STAN! COME BACK!" But Stan disappeared. The first twenty-four hours of happiness and excitement in twenty years and now it was depression once again for Klaus, who went to sleep again.

Stan was having a swell time making the orphans very happy, he completely forgot all above Steve's and his friend Roger's death and Francine and Hayley in the goo chambers, let alone Klaus on the park bench. He enjoyed going on Big Thunder Mountain Rail-road, Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Astro Orbit, and the Haunted Mansion. Although he couldn't see who the world was so small after all. Then he had to go through pressure by taking the very young kids on Dumbo, the Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and all of that kid's crap.

Later, Stan felt exhausted and decided to get some lunch. After three burgers and chips in hot mustard sauce, he went out and found the park was completely deserted! Then two security guards come to him.

"Come with us!" they ordered.

Stan was later escorted to the Security Room. The guards uploaded the screens and revealed the rest of the parks. Half of the orphanage alone was climbing on the Animal Kingdom's The Tree of Life! A few kids were pulling down the Imperial Walkers at Hollywood Studios and making it crash onto the X-Wing. Then the room rumbled! A big hole in the was appeared behind them! There was the Giant Epcot ball that must've rolled over 50 miles from where it originally was. The guards turned to Stan, who smiled weakly.

"What's the tab?" he asked.

* * *

The tab was... ten years in jail with the exception of a bail of $2,000. At least, he wasn't alone. He had about two thousand kids with him.

"I try my best to give you something enjoyable and you cocked it all up!" he muttered angrily.

"No, I wouldn't say 'cocked it all up'," said John the Geek.  
"Especially the girls," chuckled Henrietta. All the kids laughed at this joke.

"We prefer the term 'Over The Top' enthusiasm," continued John. "Besides, it's your friend, the Nazi Goldfish who suggested it, you didn't."

"Yeah, if you can't lead us, that must be why you failed to gain respect from your son," added Henrietta.

Then Stan got up, fists all clenched. "You're right. This is how I should have disciplined Steve in the first place!" He charged for the kids, but the children were saved from a drilling noise in the wall. It was as big as the hole in the ozone. Stan turned around to see a hole is in the wall being drilled... from the other side!

The thing fell down and there was the hero.

"KLAUS!" cheered the kids.

"Klaus?" a stunned Stan said.

"Yes," greeted a moody Klaus. "Klaus the German Goldfish, trying to save two thousand orphans and a depressed CIA Agent who lost his son. Now, come on!"

And Klaus let the way in his tiny dish that he moves around in. The kids followed excitedly. Klaus checked that everyone was out. He saw that one was missing and guess who it was?

"Come with us, Stan," offered Klaus.

"I can't do anything right," sighed Stan. "Go and lead these kids to happiness, Klaus. You're better at it than I will be."

And he fell down asleep.

"I don't how you became a CIA Agent if you don't confront your problems and drink beer to damage your liver instead," groaned Klaus and he dragged himself away to join the children. Stan didn't seem to change his mind. He was sitting down and thinking what the children had just said to him about him.

It was so very dark in Florida that night. But there was one bright light in Space Camp Kennedy. And that bright light was Klaus, leading the children out of the bushes and into the bus yard that was not checked even from security.

"All right, get on the bus!" he ordered to the kids.

They did so. But one little girl, who wasn't a fantastic walker, fell onto the steps and led out a cry.

"Quiet!" shouted Klaus quietly. "Someone help her up."

A pair of black twins, who wore the same green tank tops and skirts and pink shoes, helped her up the bus. Finally, Klaus climbed on board and jumped onto the steering wheel. He turned the key and drove off.

"You know how to drive a bus?" asked John the Geek.

"Yes, I do!" shouted Klaus. "There's more to life to a goldfish than just his bleeding bowl!"

"It also goes to prove that the Germans have changed after the Fall of the Nazis," complimented Henrietta.

This enlightened Klaus a lot.

Unfortunately, Klaus hadn't been driving for very long, when he came to the security checkpoint. A security guard out there stopped got in his way and forced him to stop.

"Open the door, please," requested the guard.

Klaus hesitated.

"Open the door or we'll have to shoot you and your passengers!" ordered the guard. "And you wouldn't want that, would you?"

Klaus sighed and opened the door.

Inside the bus, the guard, a stern-face man with blonde hair, came in with his torch. He shone it and scoffed so much he had to laugh a lot.

"A fish in a glass bowl driving a bus of two thousand orphans to space shuttles at midnight?" He really did laugh a lot.

"Well, ha, ha!" chuckled Klaus sarcastically.

The guard stopped chuckling and fell off the bus. This was the perfect time for Klaus to close the doors and start the engine.

The guard was to too stunned to even notice the bus driving away. His partner came to him. "Are you all right?" he asked him.

"T-t-t-t-hat f-f-f-fish can t-t-t-alk and driver!" the guard spluttered.

"And he's driving into the rocket area!" his partner shouted.

And he was right! In fact, that bus crashed through the gates and didn't stopped.

The bus stopped at the _Saturn V_ rocket, the rocket was for the _Apollo 11 _mission in 1971.

"All right, everyone off!" Klaus ordered. And the kids did so. John was the last off the bus to pick Klaus up.

"What are we going to do now?" John asked Klaus.

"I don't know," was Klaus's best answer.

"Well, you'd better come up with something, because the security's after us!" Henrietta told everyone.

That, of course, frightened everyone and they all scattered and ran like rats! Only Klaus, John and Henrietta stood there.

"Er, why are we sitting here?" asked Klaus.

"I thought it was sensible thing to do," answered Henrietta.

"Really? Well, now, I know that we are sitting ducks. Well, two ducks and a goldfish." And Klaus was not wrong. There _were_ security guards around them.

"Hands in the air! Now!" shouted the leader. Only Henrietta did. How could John put his hands up with dropping Klaus?

"Chuck me the Nazi fish and put your hands up now!" the leader ordered again.

Then John gave a unsure face about calling Klaus a "Nazi", not because he wasn't a Nazi, but because the security leader somehow knew that this goldfish was German, _even_ without meeting him.

"Now!" the leader repeated.

John sighed and chucked the fish. John finally put his hands up.

The leader turned around to his team. "All right, search the whole park. Find every child and bring them here. Now!"

"Yes, sir!" the team responded in unison and disappeared. When every agent disappeared, John ran to the leader and started to punch him! The leader stopped him.

"WHO ARE YOU?" shouted John. "HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS GOLDFISH IS GERMAN?"

"Because he's my fish," answered the leader. He took his hat off and there was...

"Stan!" cried Klaus. "Changed your mind, did you?"

"No," answered Stan. "This is was my plan. What I was trained to do in the CIA. If I joined you guys, I wouldn't have helped you."

"Well, how does you leading your guards here and scaring the kids away help?" asked John.

"Well, smarty brain, with all of the delicious colours that Nestle provides," chuckled Stan at this annoyed geek, "I send my buddies to capture the children, send them to for a smoke, we sneak out of here and then we're safe."

"Maybe this redemption thing wasn't what Stan needed after all," Klaus sighed to himself.

Sooner or later, the guards brought the entire orphanage to Stan. "All right, men," greeted Stan. "Go and celebrate with a beer, each of you. On me, of course!"

The guards cheered and walked away.

"Wow!" exclaimed Klaus. "The guards actually _bought_ that from you?"

"Seems so," replied Stan. "Now, come on. Let's get out of here."

They all started to turn away and walk to the emergency door. Then it happened.

"There they are!" The kids turned around. The guards _didn't _buy what Stan said and they were coming back for them. No one, not even CIA Agent Stan Smith, could think what to do.

Then John the Geek spoke out. "Inside the _Saturn V_!" he ordered. Stan and Klaus wasn't sure about this, but the kids wasted no time entering the rocket. Stan and Klaus followed with only seconds to avoid the guards. At the last second, Stan closed the door and locked it.

The guards draw their weapons. "Open up or we'll shoot our ways in!" Of course, _no one_ believed that.

Inside the ship, Stan found it hard to climb through not only because all rockets are very tight, but with the two thousand kids inside. After much struggle, he finally made it to the controls. To his surprise, Klaus was there, fiddling with the controls.

"Klaus, are you crazy?" Stan was surprised. "How can you do that? You never travelled into space in your life! This is rocket science... especially for a goldfish."

"When the CIA transferred my brain into this goldfish body, you think I didn't study the secret CIA equipment that helps to NASA supply their rockets?" chuckled Klaus.

RUMBLE! The rocket was shaking, not because of the controls but outside a helicopter was trying to pull it away.

"Do something, Klaus!" commanded Stan.

"Oh, now, you believe I can do something than just sit in my dirty bowl," muttered Klaus sarcastically.

Outside, the ship was being pulled up by the helicopter.

"We've got it stable, sir," reported the pilot, checking with the crane operator who gave a thumb up.

"Good," the Second-in-Commander of the guards, taking over from Stan, reported back. "Lay it on the ground and we'll take it from there."

The Helicopter lowered to the ground and the rocket began to turn horizontal, then the helicopter began to shake.

"What the hell's happening?" demanded the pilot.

"Either it's a big hurricane or the rocket's shaking!" responded the operator.

The helicopter couldn't take it any more. It let the rocket go! And fall... not! The rocket was powered up and it took off!

"What year is this?" asked the Second-in-Commander of the guards asked the stunned guards who were just watching.

The rocket got off to a rough start, but now it was flying very well. Klaus was handling the rocket very well.

Stan was very impressed. "Wow, Klaus! I never you studied rocket science."

"Well, I studied at the University of Heidelberg," said Klaus modestly. "For about three months. Before moving to Jena."

Then the rocket began to feel lose and wobble. And it fell down.

"What's happening?" demanded Stan.

Klaus was checking everything. "Enough fuel. All the systems are working. The food supply is enough... unless -" Then the computer gave the answer. Klaus was shocked when he studied it. "Oh, God! We're a little over weight!"

"What are we going to do?" panicked Stan.

"We need to something, like food or -"

"Or one or two kids?"

"No, that won't do much good," said Klaus. "Something like -"

Then the rocket wash shaking so much that Stan and Klaus rolled to the back of the rocket. They crash onto two seats and two doors closed behind them.

"Escape pods!" Klaus finally finished.

"Oh, just like in _Star Wars_," Stan joined in.

They screamed together as they shot off down to Earth.

All the other kids were panicking. Then John the Geek saw the controls and bravely ran to them. He took and finally controlled the controls. The rocket was moving upwards and into space.

Henrietta ran to him. "Where are we going?" she demanded furiously. "Home's back down there."

"Is that what you call home?" asked John. "There's so much life out there that'll take us in for families."

"But we don't know that for sure!"

"Then let's know!"

And, thanks to John the Geek, _Saturn V _vanished into light-space!

* * *

Back on Earth, Stan's heading was spinning like the Mad Hatter's Spinning Cups. He got up and quickly realised where he was – back at home in Langley Falls and at his own house. He was very happy, but then his attention was brought on a muffled sound from his ass. He shook it and there was Klaus, gasping for air.

"Landing on your ass isn't CIA Training. You should be on _America's Got Talent!_" Klaus moaned.

Stan burst into the house and put Klaus in the -

"The kitchen sink with the plates that you have not washed ever since you left?"

But Klaus was only getting it off his chest, as Stan had ran away. He had turned the goo chambers off and took Francine and Hayley out. He wiped the goo off them with a towel and put their nightwear back on them. Then he put them to bed. Stan felt so tired that he fell asleep on the floor.

"Stan? Stan! STAN!"

Stan jumped up and gasped. There was Francine in bed.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"Just tired from all of that fun we had in Lake Tahoe," Stan answered.

Later, the family was at the kitchen table.

"What a wonderful vacation!" cheered Hayley.

"Yes, we really needed it," agreed Francine.

_On their vacation, they went to Lake Tahoe and rented a boat called Steve II, named his after their own son. Stan drove it, while Francine was drinking expensive drinks and Hayley was water-skiing behind them._

_"Oh, it feels so good to laugh again," sighed Francine._

_"I feel like Steve's here with us. Here's looking at you, Steve!" he chuckled to the boat. They all laughed at this joke._

But, of course, Stan and Klaus knew better than that. In the goo chambers, not only do they put you anywhere, they make you go out of character. On this vacation, for example, Francine cared so much for her baby son yet she seemed to let him go and Stan knew that Hayley can't really water-ski in the real world as she can't even swim.

Then Stan heard heard the postbox flap. He ran to it and looked at the post. There was only one letter. He tore it and opened it. It was a bill saying that Steve's college money, a sum of $10,000 has been used to help him bail out, payed the Florida vacations for the orphanage and paid the sum for the model of _Saturn V_. But the Disney Parks demanded a sum of $2,000 for repairs.

Then he heard sniffling again. He went back into the kitchen.

"What is it?" Stan asked.

"Don't get us wrong, dad," sobbed Hayley. "We did have a swell time."

"But now we had such a good time," joined in Francine, "we feel bad that Steve wasn't actually with us. Us being back home with all his stuff is starting me all up again."

Now Stan had three more problems: the depression of the girls was starting up again, a sum of $2,000 and worrying about the orphans in space. What could he do? What could he – Wait! He had an excellent idea.

"I know what we need," said Stan. "Let's sell Steve's possessions as he doesn't need them, go on another vacation only longer and then we come back and have Steve's funeral."

The girls sadly nodded.

The Smiths have had two days of successful selling nearly all of Steve's possessions, including the death masks of the Little Rascals on e-Bay.

"$2000! We're going to Rome!" cheered Hayley.

Stan smiled as he would just put them back into the goo chambers and pay off his bills in Florida. Then what would he do? Maybe he could get Steve's possessions back or buy more possessions and only better possessions for Steve, because who should enter the house through the door.

"STEVE!" cried Francine. There was Stan's favorite child, Steve Smith.

This gave Stan's brain a few questions. So he didn't die? Did he really go to New York City? What did he waste Steve's college money on? Did he and Klaus make amends for nothing? But he didn't give a damn. After Francine hugged him so much, it was his turn. Steve wasn't a spirit or a zombie. He was alive, fresh and blood and not one cut or bruise on him.

"Steve! We thought you were dead!" Stan exclaimed happily.

"What about me?"

Stan's happiness was rudely interrupted when he discovered Steve's best friend, Roger, the rumored but not famous alien Stan rescued from Area 51, which he wished he hadn't done so.

"Oh, yeah, we thought you were dead, too," groaned Stan.

"Dad," began Steve. "I said some pretty mean things to you and I'm sorry."

"That's OK. Irregardless, I forgive you and I'm glad to have you home, son," Stan said happily.

"Irregardless, it's good to be home, too," Steve said honestly.

"I'm not!" interrupted Roger. "I hate this place! Good night!

"Welcome home."

"Thanks, Dad." And father and son hugged each other. It was good to see that they made up after five weeks.

Roger was walking up, when Hayley grabbed him.

"Roger, you're alive!" screamed Hayley happily. "I thought you and Steve were dead and now and I was devastated!"

"Yeah, well, I would pop back to annoy you as a spirit, like Obi-Wan Kenobi and Mufasa," Roger replied back, leaving a hurt Hayley speechless.

* * *

That night, after chucking everyone to bed, except Roger who wouldn't shut up about his possessions the Smiths had sold for a vacation. Roger let out a chuckle, because as well as Klaus, Stan let Roger on the goo-chambers-Stan-puts-his-family-in-instead-of-taking-them-on-a-proper-vacation secret. Then the letter box opened. Stan went down stairs and received a parcel. He open and it was a black box. He open it. Nothing! He chucked it to the fireplace.

"Crap the post service are these days!" he muttered.

Stan sighed and went up the stairs. Then a green light flicked downstairs. Stan turn 180 degrees back downstairs. At the fireplace, Stan saw there was something in that box. It was sort of like a hologram thing. And there was a picture of John the Geek and Henrietta in it.

"Stan," they said. "Are you alone? This is a hologram and it lasts about five minutes so all we want to tell us that we are in a different galaxy and that everyone of us are adopted... all by humanoid creatures. Now me and Henry here are brothers and sisters. We just want to give all our thanks to you, because we wouldn't have found happiness without you or your German goldfish. Goodbye."

And then they vanished. Stan smiled, feeling proud of himself. He may not have made amends, but he did a good deed. No! Two thousand good deeds. And meeting the orphans helped him to be a much more loving and caring father. In short, that trip he and Klaus went on was worth every second.

Stan picked the box up and put it on his shelf of CIA achievements. "Goodbye," he said.

And so Stan Smith was a better man, helping orphans find families and homes. But what made him most happy was his favorite child Steve was alive the whole time. He can now buy better possessions for him and save enough money for Steve to go to Harvard University, because he knew he was that smart enough (and much more smarter than his old man). He was glad he and Steve had made up, but he was sick of Roger complaining, so he gave the job to Hayley who was running out of excuses. As anyone could see, everything was back to normal.

THE END

Written by Bobby South

_American Dad!_ created by Seth MacFarlane, Mike Barker and Matt Weitzman


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